


forrest blues

by sanctimonials



Category: Free!
Genre: M/M, Oneshot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-08
Updated: 2015-02-08
Packaged: 2018-03-11 04:58:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3314921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sanctimonials/pseuds/sanctimonials
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Rin was twelve years old, he forgot about Sousuke. He forgot how the other boy talked, his mannerisms, his speech patterns (the way he dragged Rin's name into two syllables, Ri-ihn, instead of one). He forgot how Sousuke smiled, all droopy-eyed softness, careful and silent, so no one could see the smile except the person it was reserved for. He forgot how Sousuke smelled, like dirt, like copper, chlorine and home.</p><p>On the day of Rin's 15th birthday, Rin forgot to forget and remembered.</p>
            </blockquote>





	forrest blues

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first fanfic for the free! fandom, so thank you for reading!! i had "Thinkin' Bout You" and "Forrest Gump" by Frank Ocean on repeat and i think it makes a really good soundtrack for this oneshot (considering those are my SouRin go-to songs).

i.  
When Rin was twelve years old, he forgot about Sousuke. He forgot how the other boy talked, his mannerisms, his speech patterns (the way he dragged Rin's name into two syllables, Ri-ihn, instead of one). He forgot how Sousuke smiled, all droopy-eyed softness, careful and silent, so no one could see the smile except the person it was reserved for. He forgot how Sousuke smelled, like dirt, like copper, chlorine and home.

Rin forgot how to write to Sousuke. Rin forgot how to use a phone to call him.

When he went to sleep that night Rin forgot to remember Sousuke.

On the day of Rin's 15th birthday, Rin forgot to forget and remembered. He broke apart his room in Sousuke's name, in his honor, searching desperately for a letter that reminded him too much of home. His host parents watched as he searched, and comforted him when he apologized in broken English, bleary eyed and tired. Sousuke was a tornado through his memories, a forgotten person until now, like a worn out VHS replayed, colors faded and grainy quality but still good. Rin reread all of his letters and he couldn't get Sousuke out of his mind. He couldn't get a lot of things out of his mind.

That night, Rin remembered to forget. The next day, he arrived at Iwatobi.

ii.  
Sousuke kissed Rin like it physically hurt him. He winced, and pulled his face away, lips dragging across Rin's cheek before turning away and staring at the wall. Rin usually let it go, opted to put his face in the crook between Sousuke's shoulder and neck because it was comforting to him. He didn't ask Sousuke if he liked the feeling of Rin's breath hot on his neck. Rin squeezed his eyes shut and pressed his lips to the pulse. He thought he should probably ask if Sousuke liked this.

Rin always pulled away, but Sousuke always pulled him back, a heavy hand on the back of Rin's neck, guiding Rin's head back into the crook of his neck. Lips back to pulse. Rin figured he did enjoy it if he always pulled back.

iii.  
When Sousuke walked into his class a year after he had returned home, Rin was sure he went insane. He was sure those last few years of emotions pushed down to the point of stagnation, heavy stress from training and that certain loneliness that comes from being away from the those you loved for so long had finally caught up to him. _Finally,_ he thought, feeling relived, _I can only wait for all of that to catch up for so long._

But then Sousuke turned his head right towards Rin's direction, as if he knew where Rin would be sitting right there, as if he always knew where Rin would be and. Rin let out the breath he was holding, quick exhale of anxiety, and Sousuke smiled. That small, secret, droopy-eyed smile and Rin knew he hadn't gone insane.

iv.  
The way Sousuke laughed was the last thing Rin needed in order for his homesickness to finally leave him.

It had been a year since he returned to Iwatobi, a couple of months since he'd reunited with Haru, Makoto and Nagisa, and had met Rei. It had been a year since he walked into his home, surprising his mother to tears. She felt like home, smelled like home, sounded like the sea, which was home. It had been a year, but every night he would look out the window, feeling as if he was still a continent away.

Then Sousuke fist bumped him in their usual way and they laughed at how ridiculous they could be, and as they hugged, Rin breathed in salt, dirt, chlorine and home, real and solid like his hands on Sousuke's back. Sousuke laughed again, breathlessly, and Rin couldn't figure out why was Sousuke breathless but it didn't matter. He finally felt grounded and steeped in Home.

v.  
Sousuke left after graduation, and forgot to write to Rin.

He forgot to write a lot.

Rin forgot he promised himself not to cry anymore.

vi.  
Rin won medals and trophies, tournaments and, once, an Olympic gold medal. Haru won more, but Rin won just as much, _thank you very much_ he would say to his friends, who would laugh at how competitive he could be. Rin laughed, smiled and kissed other teammates, because he learned he fancied men along with women and sometimes the genders in between, and he felt better. He forgot about Sousuke during these times, when everything was adrenaline, blood pumping in his ears and the roar of the stadium around him.

Then the off-season came along, and he trained more than he saw his family or friends, and despite being back in Japan, back to the familiar, he still felt like he was thousands of miles away in Barcelona, in Sydney, somewhere that didn't feel like home. He tried not to think about it, would rather do that extra chin up so that he could collapse feeling bone tired, so that he could forget how he felt lost in his own town, in his own skin.

He saw Sousuke on his twenty-third birthday. He punched Sousuke once he had opened the door to his apartment, thinking he had buzzed up the deliveryman. He cried after Sousuke had stumbled, turned to him with a look that was equal parts annoyed and angry, but with a resigned sigh he had said, "hello, Rin", making Rin's name two syllables, Ri-ihn.

He didn't hug Sousuke until a month later. When he did, Sousuke smelled like salt, dirt, and cooper, like blood on Rin's tongue. Rin went to sleep still feeling thousands of miles away.

vii.  
"Rin, stop!"

Rin was lost in his laughter, thin legs aching as he ran down the slope leading to the beaches. It was summer, and Rin was ready for the holidays to stretch until tomorrow and the next day, and the next day, until he was satiated with sun, and ice pops, until his skin was cracked from tans and sand. Rin looked behind him to see Gou running after him, her giggles bright and shrill as she ran after her elder brother in excitement. Sousuke was right behind her, holding his hands out slightly in front of him in case Gou fell.

"Rin, seriously!" Sousuke called out, his voice as stern as an 11-year-old's voice could be.

Making a quick turn, Rin ran back towards them and stopped in front of his sister, bending down and putting his arms behind him. Gou, giddy at the prospect of a piggyback ride, almost slammed herself into Rin, climbing his back and wrapping her arms around his neck. Despite Sousuke's earlier warnings and Gou's added weight, Rin took off in full speed, his laughter as bright as the world around him. He could hear Sousuke calling after him, running full speed to catch up with Rin, breathless and weightless as they sprinted down the hill.

Rin was sure that the feeling he got that day would last forever.

viii.  
"You know, you had no right to punch me like that."

Rin scowled, turning his face away from the man across from him. The restaurant continued to bustle around him, waitresses talking, smiling, amiable. The restaurant wasn't too far from Rin's apartment, and he frequented the place, as it was clean and the food was pretty homey. He had taken Sousuke here so that when they talked Rin had a good reason not to punch him again.

"It was a pretty rude way to greet an old friend."

Rin turned sharply to the man across from him, his lip already curled into a snarl, tensed and ready for a fight. However, Sousuke had ordered a large beef donburi and was not paying much attention to anything other than his food. He wasn't even looking at Rin, was probably speaking into his chopsticks when addressing Rin. Rin bit his tongue and slumped into his seat.

"Yeah, well. You stopped writing," was all Rin could say.

"So did you," Sousuke said quietly, into his bowl.

Rin saw red, and closed his eyes. He bit his tongue. He placed his face into his hands and wished this day would end.

ix.  
Rin kissed Sousuke like he was drowning. He engulfed the taller boy with hands and legs like a man desperate for a solid surface after so long without it. Rin inhaled shaky breaths when Sousuke moved to his neck, the stimulation always too much for him. Every exhale Rin let go sounded as of he was choking down the urge to cry, wet and winded. But Rin wasn't going to cry, he cried enough already, and instead he kissed the inflamed redness around Sousuke's shoulder as Sousuke licked down his neck and across his collar.

Sousuke would often flip them over, either because of his shoulder or because he wanted all of Rin's attention lavished onto him. Rin knew Sousuke deserved that much, and gave it to him without complaint, with care, with abandon. He deserved that much after swimming with Rin and the team, after putting so much on the line for Rin’s and his own happiness.

Rin would often lick into Sousuke, Sousuke's favorite position with his long legs folded gently towards his chest, Rin deep between his thighs, holding strong legs up and apart. Sousuke would wince at every lick and turn his head, his breathing steady but heavy. Rin would lick deeper, pushing his tongue past the ring of muscle, pulling out, pushing in, out, waiting, in, out, waiting for Sousuke to grab his hair and push him in, give him more attention, give him more.

When Sousuke came, shuddering violently against RIn’s mouth, it sounded like he was crying, like he was breathless, and Rin couldn't figure out why.

x.  
"Brother, you got a letter!"

Rin looked up from his book from where he had claimed the couch as his own for the day. Gou looked at him disapprovingly, sniffing in a way that reminded Rin of Rei, haughty but probably just for show. He had claimed every throw pillow as His for the day, dividing himself from the world with a makeshift pillow moat. His mother had laughed, leaving Rin to his devices as she went to hang the laundry in the backyard. Gou sighed and handed the letter over to him before continuing to the kitchen.

Rin looked at the letter, no return address written on the face of it. He pouted, asking his sister as he began to rip open the top, "who's it from?"

"How should I know!" Gou exclaimed, and Rin could practically see her long hair whipping to the side as she turned to throw a look in his direction. "I just got it out from the mailbox."

"Yeah, yeah, ok, I got you," Rin called back, placating his sister.

“Who’s it from?”

Rin didn’t answer back; he couldn’t even if he wanted to, for his mouth was pressed into a thin line as his attention was now focused on the letter inside.

_Dear Rin, I know we haven't spoken in so long. It’s been two years since you punched me when I went to go see you. But, that is not what I’m writing for. I won't forget about you. I can't. I don’t think I ever could even if I wanted to. Please, I want to forgive you and for you to forgive me. So, I’ll start clean. Hello. My name is Yamazaki Sousuke. I’m going to be your new personal trainer this coming spring, and I hope for us to have a close and rewarding relationship._

_Love, Sousuke_  
 _P.S.: I can't wait until you come home._

Rin smiled, the lines of his lips watery, and closed his eyes. Putting the paper to his face, he breathed in the letter, inhaling deep. The paper smelt of salt, dirt, and chlorine. Rin sighed deeply, lying down on his couch, feeling more at home than he has in years.


End file.
